Why does our tone matter? And what can we do about it?

Considerations – three “T”s

  • Trigger past hurts –
    • Shouted as a child
    • Lectured in stern way – felt small
  • Tyrant
    • Sound like you are incontrovertible – cannot be wrong
    • Sets us up as proud
  • Tune out
    • “He’s against me”
    • Arguing with you in their heads even if agree with your point objectively
    • Audience will not give you the benefit of the doubt
“Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed, that her sin has been paid for, that she has received from the Lord’s hand double for all her sins.” Isaiah 40:2 NIV11
““Here is my servant whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations.
He will not quarrel or cry out; no one will hear his voice in the streets.
A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out, till he has brought justice through to victory.
In his name the nations will put their hope.”” (Matthew 12:18–21 NIV11)
“Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:4–6 NIV11)
  1. Do you ever speak in real life in the way you preach?
  2. Is your tone, generally, one of grace rather than judgment?
  1. Listen to yourself
  2. Ask others how you come across
Conclusion: “You shout so loud I can’t hear what you’re saying”
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Thanks again for listening. Have a terrific Tuesday, and a wonderful week.
God bless,