Malcolms Monday Meditation: “Perfect is Problematic”

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Anonymous

    I have just read your article on ‘perfect is problematic’. I couldn’t believe how much it related to a current issue in my household. This definitely is something I would like to look into with a view to learning how to support and help family members.

    • Thanks for letting me know. I’ll pray you find what you need. God bless.

  • Anonymous

    Is it OK to circulate your blog on perfectionism?

    • Certainly – please pass this on to anyone you feel it might benefit. Thanks for asking.

  • Anonymous

    I have a teenage daughter who is a trying to attain perfectionism at school. It is making her ill and th rest of us sad. She is a disciple and prays ,also receiving help from cahms. Do you have any other verses that I can show her to help her understand her pursuit is unnecessary and damaging. I looked at the verses you shared. They are great but would appreciate anything you can share on this matter.

  • I’m sorry to hear about your challenges. I’m not sure there are any cast-iron ways to ensure behaviour changes, but I do believe there are things God has given us to help us handle things and find healing – in His time. Perfectionism is a pernicious problem and not something to be taken lightly, and I’m sure, since you are posting here, you are taking it seriously. That’s the first and most important thing. The next is to remember your own limitations as a parent. God does not expect perfection in you, either! There never have been and never will be any perfect parents. We just need to do our best and pray! Some passages in the Bible that might help you, your family & your daughter include these: “If perfection could have been attained through the Levitical priesthood—and indeed the law given to the people established that priesthood—why was there still need for another priest to come, one in the order of Melchizedek, not in the order of Aaron?” (Hebrews 7:11 NIV11) Perfection in God’s sight does not come through keeping rules, but in knowing Jesus.Another verse that deals with anxiety (which is a big factor in perfectionism) is: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV11). That offer is made in the middle of a passage about humility and the devil! A classic passage is: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6–7 NIV11-GK)I can thoroughly recommend the books – “The Worry Book” & “The Guilt Book” by Rob Waller & Will Van Der Hart – http://www.amazon.co.uk/Worry-Book-Will-van-Hart-ebook/dp/B00BTFYFWO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1413374012&sr=8-1&keywords=the+worry+book, & http://www.amazon.co.uk/Guilt-Book-Will-Van-Hart-ebook/dp/B00KQKCRE6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1413374087&sr=8-1&keywords=the+guilt+book

    • Anonymous

      The verse from Hebrews is very helpful. You cannot imagine the guilt I feel as a parent. Not just any parent but a Christian parent. But it also has made me rethink the way I judge other parents and people in general. I have spent most of the time on my knees praying to God. The funny thing is , I actually feel loved and purer( not because of perfection but for dealing and dumping judgemental thoughts and from getting support from people around me).Thank you.

    • You’re welcome. Are you familiar with the work of Brene Brown? I’ve found her books to be very helpful in dealing with shame. For example, here is a TED talk by her: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en